Coming back changed me. I don't think I ever was the same. Unless I was drunk, I was reserved, hidden, speechless, too self aware to breathe. The air and the words would bubble out into nonsense as if nothing in this life made any sense. I would go to the bar, go to a friend's house, drink alone, anything to forget about my place on this world. I was a blue collar worker not even making ends meet. I could see the look on peoples' faces as I stumbled out into the front of the restaurant I worked at. Their leering eyes met with a fake smile.
The only relief I could find was driving at night with the window down and a cigarette between my fingers, the only solace was distracted, drunk driving, singing along to the saddest song you'll ever hear. The only way I could promise myself not to black out would be to have the responsibility of getting myself home at all hours of the night just to slump into my bed and go to work in the morning, starting the whole routine over again.
I was a wrench in the bourgeoisie tool kit. I was exactly where I belonged, I just couldn't shake the feeling that there was more. Maybe my idealist attitude dragged me down than any form of cynicism ever could. The fact still remained: I was still alive.
lyrics
No Bartender, I won't go home,
Nor will I stay here
I hide behind a smile cuz I'm still lost and
I must be going somewhere
But my place won't be there with you
We've given up all we can do
I don't feel like crying, I'd much rather be driving
Escaping the thoughts and the bruise
Oh my darling, don't rip my heart out
There's only enough for you
I can't help thinking that my heart is sinking
I tell you there's only enough for you
But my place won't be there with you
We've given up all we can do
I don't feel like crying, I'd much rather be driving
Escaping the thoughts and the bruise
Escaping these thoughts over you
Escaping these thoughts I've been having of you
credits
from A Capitalist Love Affair,
released September 21, 2016
Eric Miller - guitar, piano, drums, vocals
Guitars so jagged you could cut yourself on them and sneering spoken/sung lyrics make “Red Dirt” a post-punk powerhouse. Bandcamp New & Notable Jun 3, 2023
The soaring arcs of post-rock, the punchy rhythms of post-hardcore, and the jagged lines of post-punk all join on the latest from Aversions. Bandcamp New & Notable May 2, 2023
Call it egg punk or Devo-garage or whatever you like: this EP from Indonesian band Josnali has sass, charm, and lo-fi hooks to spare. Bandcamp New & Notable Mar 7, 2023
A four-track bout between two of Australia's most formidable post-punk groups, fueled by wiry guitar riffs and vibrant, timely lyrics. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 19, 2022
Balancing hooks and abrasion, the debut from Berlin punks Rouge features springy synths, snappy percussion, and insouciant vocals. Bandcamp New & Notable May 3, 2022
An explosive, ennui-laden EP from Vancouver band Aversions, contrasting jittery post-punk melodies with muscular hardcore breakdowns. Bandcamp New & Notable Jan 19, 2022